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- Of course I look familiar. I was here just last week cleaning your carpets, painting your shutters, or delivering your new refrigerator.
- Yes, I really do look for newspapers piled up on the driveway. And I might leave a pizza flyer in your front door to see how long it takes you to remove it.
- It’s raining, you’re fumbling with your umbrella, and you forget to lock your door – understandable. But understand this: I don’t take a day off because of bad weather.
- I always knock first. If you answer, I’ll ask for directions somewhere or offer to clean your gutters. (Don’t take me up on it.) If you don’t answer when I knock, I’ll try the door or enter through the back of the house.
- You’re right: I won’t have enough time to break into that safe where you keep your valuables. But if it’s not bolted down, I’ll take it with me.
- Sometimes, I carry a clipboard. Sometimes, I dress like a lawn guy and carry a rake. I do my best never, ever look like a crook.
- The two things I hate most: loud dogs and nosy neighbors.
- I’ll break a window to get in, even if it makes a little noise, if your neighbor hears one loud sound, he’ll stop what he’s doing and wait to hear it again. If he doesn’t hear it again, he’ll just go back to what he was doing. It’s human nature.
- I’m not complaining, but why would you pay all that money for a fancy alarm system and leave your house without setting it?
- Avoid announcing your vacation on your Facebook page. It’s easier than you think to look up your address.
- To you, leaving that window open just a crack during the day is a way to let in a little fresh air. To me, it’s an invitation.
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